Talk It Out

Dear beloved bottlers (editor's note: someone who bottles up their feelings),

Have you ever accidentally had canned soda explode unexpectedly after you opened one? Pretty sure you had! Bottled up human emotions on the other hand, the complexity for sure goes far beyond a simple spill. They require understanding, self-acceptance and the abundance of empathy.

As the eldest child, I firmly embraced the belief that I had to be strong and not to burden others with my own struggles. I never thought I’d resorted to my parents for serious advice for anything personal life-related, fearing it would lead to gaslighting and denial among all other valid reasons not to.

Things began to shift when I decided to open up after reaching a tipping point. Despite feeling irreparably damaged, the desperation to be heard and understood overcame me. This pivotal moment of vulnerability freed me from the burden that I had been silently carrying around for what felt like an eternity – it was humbly liberating.

But when my dad assured me that I could always confide in him without fear of judgement, I almost refused to believe what he said. I anticipated he would disappoint me, which he did, but he regretted for not knowing me well enough. In moments of doubt, I would replay his every word in my mind like a broken record, reminding me that I am never alone. “I promise, you can always talk to me about anything. You’re my daughter, and as your father, I should know you better than anyone else”.

My takeaways from here are; sometimes it can be tempting to handle everything on our own when we find ourselves in a difficult situation. But you’d be surprised with how many are willing to lend their hands when you reach out – or in my case, who is willing to listen, understand and stand by my side unconditionally. Through this first-hand experience, I learned that strength lies not only in shouldering everything alone, but also in having the courage to lean on others when needed. 

So, let us not refrain ourselves from reaching out for support when needed and don’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side too. By doing so, you create a safe space for genuine connections in addition to subsequent unexpected healing and growth. This applies to yourself inasmuch as it does to those around you.

Love,

Azimah N.

(Editor AD's comment: being vulnerable and seeking help creates a snowball effect of love and nurturing. Keep passing on the message Azimah N!)